A Queer and Meaningless Bark

There's a TV cliche joke that guys are horrified by the sight of other guys dicks. The common play of this is a guy somehow accidentally sees another guy's dick, usually a friend's,  and he reacts in disgust to the point of terror.  It's one of the dumbest jokes on TV. I've never observed or heard of  any guys who have an issue with seeing another guy's dick. Most guys end up seeing a fair  number of dicks in their lifetime and do so completely trauma free.  In fact guys might even comment about another guy's dick (rarely to the dick owner himself) if the dick is noticeably big or small or if the dick is obviously unusual.  Friends will change in front of each other and neither one will be shocked  or disgusted to catch a glimpse of the other's dick. Of course TV sitcoms aren't real life and if a slip of a towel or locker room encounter went without comment it would mean a chance for a dick joke was missed. And we all love a good

The TV show Friends is not cool and no one with any taste watched it when it was new and they definitely don't watch the reruns. Supposedly. I like the show. It's well written and acted and one of the few “modern” shows I'll watch reruns of when I'm in the mood for watching dumb TV. The other day some rambling thoughts about dick made me realize that details of all the Friends boys dicks have been shared on various episodes. I'm not full of encyclopedic knowledge of every episode so I may have missed some facts but I know... 1.  Chandler has an above average dick. Phoebe saw it once and said “Mozaltov!” to Monica. On another episode Monica, referencing James Bond, described Chandler's junk as “double O and seven.”  And, based on an earlier episode where Rachel told Phoebe that Chandler had a very large dick and Joey laughed down the information, seven inches might be all Chandler's upper limit. 2.  Ross's dick is average or possible sm

Clotheshorse Technically I'm a clotheshorse, someone who has a lot of clothes and is, as one of my dictionaries says, “overly concerned with dress and fashion.”    The funny thing is you wouldn't know it by looking at me that I possibly spent way too much time figuring out what to wear. I'm not into fashion, I'm into what I like and what I like most are non-flashy clothes and a look that looks as if no thought went into it at all.  Only in a few rare occasions have friends commented on how I was dressed. Yet I'll often change a shirt or shoes several times before I figure out what I feel like wearing that day even though I'm pretty sure no one really gives my looks any consideration at all.  Part of my problem with getting dressed is I'm large and ornery looking. If I wear a rumpled shirt and ratty jacket I look like a bum. Put the rumpled shirt and ratty jacket on my friend K yle , who is skinny and middle aged handsome, and he looks like a

If you asked anyone in America to act like a stereotypical gay guy they'd probably immediately do a character with flitty mannerisms and a sing-song voice accented with some outrageous exclamations. For most people the idea of how a gay guy behaves comes largely from Hollywood which mostly gives us exaggerated cartoon versions of real life.  It's interesting that Hollywood gets away with fabulous and outrageous gay or blunt and mannish lesbian characters. Hollywood would never create a TV show with a cringe inducing pre-1970s racial stereotype black character, but the gay cliche couple on Modern Family is just fine. (Actually, Hollywood isn't all that enlightened when it comes to black female supporting roles, either. The large sized, sassy nurse or cop and the outrageous wise cracking co-worker are standard black female characters.) I've met some mildly stereotypical gay guys in real life, but never anyone as fabulously obnoxious as the two cartoon gay

My whole life I've been into guys. Even before puberty I was interested in other naked boys. But for most of my life my interest in guys was purely sexual. I wasn't romantically attracted to guys. The idea of having a boyfriend never occurred to me because it had no appeal to me though I had no issues about being sexually attracted to guys. (Well, no issues other than the usual American conservative religious belief that boys liking boys was a sin. But like most American conservative religious people I basically let myself ignore my beliefs so I could do what I wanted.)  In my mid twenties I escaped the mindset of my conservative religious upbringing and became thoroughly socially liberal. I was for equal rights for LGBTQ people even though I didn't feel much of a connection to the LGBTQ community. Though I had personally identified as bisexual since I was 13 my only interest in the LGBTQ world was that it included guys who liked having sex with other guys.  Being

I've always been a live-and-let-live sort of guy. As long as your way of life isn't infringing on the rights of or exploiting others I don't care what you do or who you love. But for some reason lately I'm less tolerant of the heterosexual lifestyle. I don't dislike heterosexuals, in fact all my best friends are heterosexuals. I'm just not interested in watching their relationships on TV shows and movies, reading about them in books and news articles, or hearing about them on radio shows. I'm often disappointed when I'm reading an article or watching a profile that features a guy who did whatever and it's revealed that he has a wife and kids. It's not because I'm attracted to the guy, it's just that the revelation that he's married to a woman seems like he's just part of the big, accepted and admired world of straight. So the moment the interviewee mentions a wife I, solely for my own amusement, often yell “Boooooooo!!!”