A Queer and Meaningless Bark

In movies and TV a common humor gag is a man having an unrealistic sexual fantasy about a woman he's turned on by. Often the fantasy involves an odd scenario and costumes and occasionally the fantasy is about a celebrity who makes a cameo for the scene.  I have no idea how realistic such portrayals are. I've talked with a few dozen queer guys about sexual fantasies but most of theirs tended to be about things they'd like to do. Whether guys really do imagine [current hot star name here] as a half naked angel hovering above the bed I don't know. What I definitely know is even in my wildest sexual fantasies I have to keep my feet on the ground or I can't get turned on.  As an adult I've never been able to fantasize about sex with a celebrity or fantastical being. In order to turn me on my fantasies have to be realistic. I can imagine I'm at an orgy, but it can't be an orgy of super hot guys if I'm going to be able to get off because in real li...

The importance of your first kiss is a standard story in our culture. It's one of those things that's possibly driven more by pop culture fictions than reality. I've never had any of my friends relate the story of their first kisses to me. (But then unlike movie and sitcom friends my friends and I have rarely discussed our romantic and sexual lives with each other.)  Some novels and stories I recently read got me thinking about my first kiss and I realized I kind of never really had one.    I have kissed guys. I've probably kissed at least a couple dozen guys. But all that kissing was just sexual. Even when it was a really good friend of mine who I had a long friends-with-benefits relationship with, the kissing (which he instigated) wasn't about romantic intimacy, it was about sex. (It was also amazing kissing and that was all his doing.) The type of first kiss I never had was that moment of first heavy physical intimacy with someone else which is speci...