Acceptance
ACCEPTANCE of the fact that I was attracted to guys was never an issue with me because from age four I was interested in boy down yonder bits (my own and others...But not in a problematic way). When I was older and learned boys aren't supposed to think about boys like that I kept my thoughts to myself (Sort of. I definitely shared them with any like minded boys), but these thoughts never felt strange or unusual like they do for some guys who stumble upon them in their teens or later in life.
In my teens I developed the usual guilt and anger at myself of any good American conservative Protestant queer kid but it never was the full blown self loathing a lot of guys with the same sort of background have. Part of that had to do with the fact that I was also attracted to girls so I was half way to being "normal," but it also had to do with my having liked boys my whole life. It didn't feel weird or wrong.
But I was a hell of a lot luckier than most guys as far as self acceptance goes. Over on Reddit I've been reading a lot of first hand stories lately from gay, bi, and queer guys. Prior to making the big leap of coming out almost all of them had to first come out to themselves and accept the fact that their feelings weren't just a phase or too much booze or some 24 hour queer flu. Acceptance of yourself is a major leap for a lot of queer guys. Sadly a lot of guys never make that leap and end up leading double lives...Married with kids and popping into parks and porno shops on the way home from work.
In my teens I developed the usual guilt and anger at myself of any good American conservative Protestant queer kid but it never was the full blown self loathing a lot of guys with the same sort of background have. Part of that had to do with the fact that I was also attracted to girls so I was half way to being "normal," but it also had to do with my having liked boys my whole life. It didn't feel weird or wrong.
But I was a hell of a lot luckier than most guys as far as self acceptance goes. Over on Reddit I've been reading a lot of first hand stories lately from gay, bi, and queer guys. Prior to making the big leap of coming out almost all of them had to first come out to themselves and accept the fact that their feelings weren't just a phase or too much booze or some 24 hour queer flu. Acceptance of yourself is a major leap for a lot of queer guys. Sadly a lot of guys never make that leap and end up leading double lives...Married with kids and popping into parks and porno shops on the way home from work.
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