Standard Acts of Attraction

Romcom TV shows, and movies and humorous TV ads typically depict guys being attracted to gals in a similar manner: Guy sees beautiful gal and he either loses his ability to function coherently, becomes a bumbling clown as he tries to make small talk, or he drops into a smooth operator,  almost predatory “Hey baby” mood.

I don't know how much these standard acts of attraction reflect reality. My guy friends have all been straight and none of them have ever exhibited the standard acts of attraction as depicted in moving fictions. Looks have been noted, specific body parts haven't. 

But my guy friends have always been smart, well rounded guys. They've also generally been pretty good looking or had personalities that must've appealed to women because most of them were never without a girlfriend for long and now they're all married.

My two male cousins, on the other hand, acted just like standard moving fiction morons, doing and saying everything a horny teen or college guy in a rated R T&A comedy would do and say. So maybe moving fiction has it mostly right.

What I find attractive in a guy doesn't correlate with that standard attraction we see in moving fiction. I don't find the supposedly ideal guy all that attractive. I don't like models or leading male types. I like goofballs and dorks, nerds and average Joes. I don't like GQ types, perfectly groomed and dressed guys. I like guys who look clean but look as if no thought was put into their hair and who wear ordinary, every day clothes.

I don't like fancy underpants. Just Boxers, white briefs, boxer briefs, thanks. No weird sling things or Euro man-panties. Underwear in and of itself doesn't appeal to me...Mostly. A pair of white briefs can be evocative. But if I were to see a guy I found attractive at a Laundromat I'd get no thrill from spying his underpants in his basket. If, however, I spied him in his underpants at a Laundromat that'd be an entirely different matter.

And now to turn all that on its ear...

I find women attractive...I'm not sure anymore exactly in what way I'm attracted to women but when I see a woman I find attractive I feel the same piqued interest I get from seeing a guy.

I like all sorts of women including the types that make the cover of magazines. Not all of them, but a lot of them. I've liked Courtney Cox since I first saw the Dancing in the Dark video, and though I kinda don't like to admit it I think Jennifer Anniston is really good looking. 

Fancy underwear on ladies is great. The Victoria's Secret TV ads can be pretty sexy. And if I were at that same Laundromat mentioned above and saw an attractive gal's underwear I'd look away in slight embarrassment. I still wouldn't be turned on by her underwear, and I don't know how I'd do if she was walking around the Laundromat in her underwear (though I guess my first reaction would be to assume she was nuts). The one big difference with my attraction to guys and gals is that with guys I know how to proceed. 

I have had a few oh-my-gawd-she's-beautiful moments like ones seen in romcom movies and TV. I've had a couple experiences where it seems an attractive gal is moving in slow motion or time has stood still. I've been suddenly face-to-face with gals I found so attractive that I've basically been struck dumb and I've opened my mouth and said “Uhm uh uh uh uhm...” 

I never tried to make anything of these moments because I'm not good looking enough. In a scene where a beautiful woman can make time stand still I'm at best the comical sidekick who stares wide eyed and slack jawed and mutters some horrible catchphrase.