Heteronormative

I've always been a live-and-let-live sort of guy. As long as your way of life isn't infringing on the rights of or exploiting others I don't care what you do or who you love.

But for some reason lately I'm less tolerant of the heterosexual lifestyle. I don't dislike heterosexuals, in fact all my best friends are heterosexuals. I'm just not interested in watching their relationships on TV shows and movies, reading about them in books and news articles, or hearing about them on radio shows.

I'm often disappointed when I'm reading an article or watching a profile that features a guy who did whatever and it's revealed that he has a wife and kids. It's not because I'm attracted to the guy, it's just that the revelation that he's married to a woman seems like he's just part of the big, accepted and admired world of straight. So the moment the interviewee mentions a wife I, solely for my own amusement, often yell “Boooooooo!!!” (Only if it's TV or radio. I'd never do that at a live event. I'm not that far gone in my intolerance of the heterosexual lifestyle. Yet.)

I like to see queer couples featured in print and TV stories and in ads. My noble, heart on the sleeve reason for this is that exposure leads to familiarity which generally leads to tolerance and, ideally, acceptance. But the main reason I like seeing queer couples in mainstream media is it makes me happy.

I love music, but the amount of music featuring a guy singing about a guy is small. At best what I can hope for is gender neutral lyrics. If the guy singing doesn't say "she" or "her" or name a name I can just pretend he's singing about a guy. (That's particularly fun if it's a country song.)

I used to sing along with/sing to myself songs as they were written. These days I don't want to sing about the love of a woman, even if I'm in a car all by myself hollering along to a song at the top of my lungs. So I change whatever words I need to so as to make the song gender neutral or about loving a guy. 

For example, Old Crow Medicine Show's smash hit Wagon Wheel has the chorus: “So rock me, mama, like a wagon wheel, rock me, mama, any way you feel, hey mama rock me...” When I sing along I sing “baby” instead of “mama.” (It's a change I'd probably have made even if I were straight. I loathe "mama" and "daddy" used as terms for a lover. I could never be some young guy's "daddy.” Just thinking of it makes me cringe.)

I get happy when I hear a celebrity is gay, even more so if it's a guy. It's not for any fantasy, I don't fantasize about celebrities. So technically it doesn't matter that Sean Hayes, Jim Parsons, Russel Tovey, or Chip Pope are gay, but I'm really glad they are. 

And I must confess a genuine bit of prejudice: If I find out an actor, writer, musician, or artist is gay I definitely like them better. It's not a free pass for bad behavior or crappy art, it's just meaningless affinity. 

Supposedly gay bars and other queer-centric businesses are shutting down all over the country. The reason generally given is it's so much more OK to be gay wherever you want these days there's little need for gay bars and gayborhoods. 

I find this trend to be depressing. Though I love the idea that acceptance of LGBTQ people is growing there's still a widespread default assumption that everyone is heterosexual.  I like the idea that there are places you can go where everyone doesn't assume you're hetero and you can assume everyone else isn't hetero.