TV Dick, Part 1: Details




The TV show Friends is not cool and no one with any taste watched it when it was new and they definitely don't watch the reruns. Supposedly. I like the show. It's well written and acted and one of the few “modern” shows I'll watch reruns of when I'm in the mood for watching dumb TV.

The other day some rambling thoughts about dick made me realize that details of all the Friends boys dicks have been shared on various episodes. I'm not full of encyclopedic knowledge of every episode so I may have missed some facts but I know...

1.  Chandler has an above average dick. Phoebe saw it once and said “Mozaltov!” to Monica. On another episode Monica, referencing James Bond, described Chandler's junk as “double O and seven.”  And, based on an earlier episode where Rachel told Phoebe that Chandler had a very large dick and Joey laughed down the information, seven inches might be all Chandler's upper limit.

2.  Ross's dick is average or possible smaller than average. Ross had a pager when his ex-wife was expecting their baby. The last digits of the pager number spelled out JIMBO. Ross received several misdials from men seeking a particular male escort whose pager number ended with JUMBO. Ross told one caller that, judging from the escort's number ending in JUMBO “I would be an extreme disappointment.”  

3. Joey is circumcised...Not much of are revelation for an American male his age but more than what you usually know for a fact about a character.

After racking up the info I knew on the Friends boys's dicks I thought about what I might have gleaned about other TV show character's dicks.

Seinfield revealed the Jerry and George (and maybe Kramer) were circumcised (no surprise for Jerry as his character is Jewish). And even my 76 year old dad thinks the "shrinkage" story was hilarious.

On Will and Grace, Jack and Will made dick references all the time. The writers probably did this because...Gay. But I seriously doubt if there had been no dick talk or jokes between Jack and Will that any viewer would have thought “Wait...These are gay guys...Why no talk of dick?”

On the Big Bang Theory the fact Howard, bring Jewish, is circumcised has been used for several jokes.

I don't recall encountering any dick references on Frasier, Modern Family, or Blackish. Surprisingly How I Met Your Mother seems to be fairly dick talk free. Seems that show would have done several episodes on dick jokes.


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