Divas, Drag, & Disconnection
Divas and drag are just two of the things that make me feel disconnected from mainstream gay culture. There's also celebrity gossip, musical theatre (and regular theatre), dancing, calling men by feminine pronouns, fashion, electro-pop disco music...OK, I don't mind a bit of dance music. But I don't dance.
I also like the music of Dionne Warwick...Her 60s and early 70s stuff. And I think she's considered a diva. But I also like Burt Bacharach's music. I don't really care what Ms. Warwick is up to in her private life, I just like the music she made way back then. And I like interior decorating (hate the term...It sounds so...Decoratey) and I'm kinda good at it. (Hate trends, like timelessness. And cabins.)
I can tolerate a bit of camp (or a lot if it's really clever) and I love Rocky Horror Picture Show, the Birdcage, Hedwig and the Angry Inch (which, by the way, is not at all like RHPS), and...Scratching my head for something super gay that I like...Uhm...Oh, Mrtha Stewart is great. Even if everyone says she's really a bitch. (Celebrity gossip. I don't care.) Graham Norton, also great.
OK, so I'm not entirely disconnected from gay culture. But when I look over the Seattle Gay News or some gay lifestyle mag I see little that appeals to me. (Though to be fair to the Seattle Gay News they do have a comprehensive weekly schedule of GLBTQ goings on, from meth addiction recovery support groups to a bridge club for seniors.)
I also don't like the gay male ideal; the young, ripped, shaved, and clipped Ken doll type of guy. There's nothing the least bit appealing about that type.
So for all of my adult life the only thing that appealed to me about gay culture was that it had a fair amount to do with guys having sex with guys (and even then I'm picky...I don't like shaved crotches and giant wieners).
Had I been drawn to the culture my life would have been different. I probably wouldn't have lived the rather socially quiet life I have. I'd probably be in better shape physically. I also might be dead. That's not a given, of course, but had I been into drinking and drugs and night clubbing when I turned 18 there's a good chance I would have done some really stupid stuff. (That's not a slam on gay culture, it's a comment on the fact that I was a not too bright and very horny 18 year old.)
Instead I've spent 20+ years more or less being fairly bored by gay culture. (Except for GLBTQ rights, which I was pretty vocally supportive of.) It wasn't until the late 90s that I started seeing and hearing things that appealed to me. It wasn't until this year that I found something that really clicked.
But straight culture doesn't really rock my world either. Almost all the ideals of female beauty that get oohs and ahhs I don't really care for. Big boobs mean nothing to me. Blond hair and blue eyes are not my dream. Tramp stamp? Funny as part of a Brad Paisley lyric, crass in real life. Cheerleaders? No. (Now cowgirls...Yeah. The only scene in Brokeback Mountain, a movie I like quite a bit, that turned me on was the cowgirl in the back seat rippin her western shirt open.)
But it's not you gay or straight culture, it's me. I usually don't like what everyone else seems to like, no matter their sexual preference. Pro sports, prime time TV, and pop stars usually always bore me. I hate the idea of dating. The American dream of spouse + spouse + house + dog + kid + kid + .5 kid seems pretty damn tedious. (The dog part is OK.)
I love dark gray rainy days, the sort of days that make everyone else cry and despair and post sad faces on Facebook. I also love the wide open desert, small town history museums, rock and gem shows, and Mondays.
The one thing my good friends and I tend to have in common is the ability to be perfectly happy wandering aimlessly or just hanging out. And we all can talk at great length on all sorts of subjects.
But the bands, books, TV shows, and movies I like are rarely the bands my friends likes.
Even though I really don't believe in uniqueness I still find myself disconnected a lot of the time. It's not something I cherish nor do I think it makes me special. It mostly just means "I don't get it" runs through my head a lot. And it also means I often get the whole beach to myself on gray winter days in Seattle.
I also like the music of Dionne Warwick...Her 60s and early 70s stuff. And I think she's considered a diva. But I also like Burt Bacharach's music. I don't really care what Ms. Warwick is up to in her private life, I just like the music she made way back then. And I like interior decorating (hate the term...It sounds so...Decoratey) and I'm kinda good at it. (Hate trends, like timelessness. And cabins.)
I can tolerate a bit of camp (or a lot if it's really clever) and I love Rocky Horror Picture Show, the Birdcage, Hedwig and the Angry Inch (which, by the way, is not at all like RHPS), and...Scratching my head for something super gay that I like...Uhm...Oh, Mrtha Stewart is great. Even if everyone says she's really a bitch. (Celebrity gossip. I don't care.) Graham Norton, also great.
OK, so I'm not entirely disconnected from gay culture. But when I look over the Seattle Gay News or some gay lifestyle mag I see little that appeals to me. (Though to be fair to the Seattle Gay News they do have a comprehensive weekly schedule of GLBTQ goings on, from meth addiction recovery support groups to a bridge club for seniors.)
I also don't like the gay male ideal; the young, ripped, shaved, and clipped Ken doll type of guy. There's nothing the least bit appealing about that type.
So for all of my adult life the only thing that appealed to me about gay culture was that it had a fair amount to do with guys having sex with guys (and even then I'm picky...I don't like shaved crotches and giant wieners).
Had I been drawn to the culture my life would have been different. I probably wouldn't have lived the rather socially quiet life I have. I'd probably be in better shape physically. I also might be dead. That's not a given, of course, but had I been into drinking and drugs and night clubbing when I turned 18 there's a good chance I would have done some really stupid stuff. (That's not a slam on gay culture, it's a comment on the fact that I was a not too bright and very horny 18 year old.)
Instead I've spent 20+ years more or less being fairly bored by gay culture. (Except for GLBTQ rights, which I was pretty vocally supportive of.) It wasn't until the late 90s that I started seeing and hearing things that appealed to me. It wasn't until this year that I found something that really clicked.
But straight culture doesn't really rock my world either. Almost all the ideals of female beauty that get oohs and ahhs I don't really care for. Big boobs mean nothing to me. Blond hair and blue eyes are not my dream. Tramp stamp? Funny as part of a Brad Paisley lyric, crass in real life. Cheerleaders? No. (Now cowgirls...Yeah. The only scene in Brokeback Mountain, a movie I like quite a bit, that turned me on was the cowgirl in the back seat rippin her western shirt open.)
But it's not you gay or straight culture, it's me. I usually don't like what everyone else seems to like, no matter their sexual preference. Pro sports, prime time TV, and pop stars usually always bore me. I hate the idea of dating. The American dream of spouse + spouse + house + dog + kid + kid + .5 kid seems pretty damn tedious. (The dog part is OK.)
I love dark gray rainy days, the sort of days that make everyone else cry and despair and post sad faces on Facebook. I also love the wide open desert, small town history museums, rock and gem shows, and Mondays.
The one thing my good friends and I tend to have in common is the ability to be perfectly happy wandering aimlessly or just hanging out. And we all can talk at great length on all sorts of subjects.
But the bands, books, TV shows, and movies I like are rarely the bands my friends likes.
Even though I really don't believe in uniqueness I still find myself disconnected a lot of the time. It's not something I cherish nor do I think it makes me special. It mostly just means "I don't get it" runs through my head a lot. And it also means I often get the whole beach to myself on gray winter days in Seattle.
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